Breast cancer: The lingering fear of recurrence

This is something that I struggle with, as does every other breast cancer survivor I’ve met or talked to. During the last eight years since my diagnosis, treatment and recovery, I’ve lost dear friends who had breast cancers that didn’t seem as bad as mine, or were ‘identical’ in a very basic sense. Add to the sense of loss a sense of dreaded “why them and not me?”

What I can tell you, if you have just been diagnosed or are currently undergoing treatment, is this - I no longer dwell on this daily. It’s one of those middle of the night things that creep in when I can’t sleep usually. Having a busy, active and satisfying life is key. You really do have to live completely for today. Nobody knows about tomorrow.

The most important thing I can tell you is that I know that I sought out the best treatment - not just the treatment I thought I could afford, or was most convenient or the least troublesome. If my cancer comes back, I’ll know without a doubt that I reached out for the latest, the newest and the most aggressive treatment available in the United States - although it was hard at times, both economically and physically.

I never wanted to have to second guess my treatment decisions later on. That alone helps me sleep at night.

You might find the following video enlightening. It’s by Lillie Schockney, R.N. of the Breast Center at Johns Hopkins, in Baltimore, Maryland.