Real doctoring: About more than a 'condition'

“How are you today, Mom?”

“I’m sitting in my chair.”

“No, Ma … I said HOW are you?”

“I’m sitting in my damn chair. That’s how I am. It’s all the same.”

This was me checking in with my 93-year-old Mother, prior to picking her up for a visit to the cardiologist that afternoon. Mom isn’t a happy camper, not that she ever was. I’m sure that life at 93 isn’t what she might have envisioned it to be, but if anybody could take a bad situation and make it worse, it’s her.

I feel sorry for doctors that treat my mother. Really. One actually asked me if it would be alright if he just didn’t anymore. “I feel utterly exhausted after just five minutes around her” said one Family Practitioner. He should put in an afternoon with her. When a mutual friend joked with her own doc about my mother also being his patient, the doctor actually buried his head in folded arms on the exam table in maybe not-so-mock weeping.

She just brings sunshine where ever she goes.

That’s why I did a sharp sucking in of breath when her cardiologist, Dr. Kosta Arger, of Sierra Nevada Cardiology Associates, decided to explain to Mom why she shouldn’t really be driving at her age, and might want to strongly consider giving it up. I was waiting for the blinding flash and the explosion.

It never came. He was on to her, cooing and smoothing the ruffled feathers back down before she could get a good head of steam up.

This is real doctoring. As in taking in the entire patient, not just their ‘condition’ or symptoms.

She has congestive heart failure and needs careful monitoring to stay out of the hospital, which will be tough, since she doesn’t hear, doesn’t listen, pretends to pay attention, and just ain’t ‘going there’. Not exactly the model, compliant patient.

But for just a short time, there’s somebody who really is treating the whole person, with a level of respect, dignity and patience that she probably doesn’t deserve. I think Dr. Arger finally got through to Mom what I just haven’t been able to. We can hang up the car keys. I owe him big time.

He reminded her that she has people in her life that are probably happy to give her a ride wherever she needs to go, looking past her to me. Miss Sunshine said “Oh, her. I don’t know how long she’ll be here.” Dr. Arger never skipped a beat, suggesting in that case, there were always taxi cabs.

I nearly bit my finger off trying not to laugh.

-maven